The Grand Finale!

ROOMMATE IS GONE! 

And I survived!

It is some kind of miracle. He moved out and Boyfriend and I moved to a new place alone. In the mean time I haven't had internet so I have an awful lot to say here. We need some kind of timeline numbered list for this one.

1. Our landlord wanted to show the apartment. I mentioned to Boyfriend that I was worried about Roommate's bathroom and I was assured it would be cleaned. I secretly worried about it extra because Roommate had no stake in the security deposit, but I didn't want to stir up drama. This happened a few days before my last post, where we learned that Roommate was actually convinced that he did pay his part of the security deposit. My fears about the upstairs returned with a vengeance upon Roommate realizing that he officially paid $0 toward the security deposit.

2. Boyfriend and Roommate came home drunk one night, singing "fuck you thunder, you can suck our dicks!" which I assumed was from Family Guy. I wouldn't really care that they came home drunk, except that Roommate drove home that way, of course! Plus they were so completely obnoxious that it ruined the movie I was watching.

3. Time to move out: I stupidly trusted that the upstairs bathroom had already been cleaned.  I was so busy dealing with all of my own excessive belongings and room to clean that I didn't even think to double check the state of upstairs. Now that we are fully moved out (after LandlordWife assured us that the house was in great shape and we were fine, but that's a separate frustration) LandlordHusband says the upstairs bathroom hasn't been cleaned at all and we are going to be fined for the cleaning service he "had to" hire. Thankfully, the rest of the place was good so Boyfriend and I just pitched in a little for them to hire someone to clean it. Roommate paid no part of that, of course.

4. I saw Ted. That movie really could have been funny if it didn't hit so close to home. I swear to anything I hold dear to me, that bear might as well be Roommate. Except Roommate doesn't care enough to help when things get bad (because of him). Worst part? "FUCK YOU THUNDA! YOU CAN SUCK OUR DICKS!" I really didn't think foreshadowing happened in real life.


Goodbye My Idiot Roommate, thank you for being an escape and a place to vent; with your help, I made it through the longest five months of my life without ever losing my shit out loud. And now I bid you a fond farewell, and I thank heavens that this shit is over.

Actually, Roommate's going away party is next month and it is sure to be a shitshow, so I may come crawling back to you.